reality bites

Too good to be true.

People often think that I’m too good. That I’m just hiding things to cover up my kindness. Maybe I’m hiding some but not those that some people accuse me of doing. If you think that you can get something from me while I poured my belly with a few drinks, you can’t because I’m telling nothing but the truth.

Sometimes, I also question my kindness to people. Are they worthy of my positive attitude towards them? Do they consider what I’ll feel when they consistently push me to do things I’m not fully open to do? What can they possibly get from being mean to me while I still treat them like they’ve done nothing wrong? Why do I always give in to what they want instead of fulfilling my desires?

Kinda got used to being the bigger person instead of arguing. I know naman when’s the right time to speak up for myself. Because then again, people are diverse and I just have to accept the fact that not everyone will choose to stay on your lane. There will always be some who will pull you down.

reality bites

What He is Not

They wanted him to be responsible.

He did become responsible. He knows how to balance academics, his commitment to his org and his social life. Whenever they need to consult something, they first go to him and ask for his critique. He doesn’t even know if what he says has influenced their final decision.

They wanted him to be an achiever.

He did become an achiever. Every challenge he is facing, he stays focused and determined to finish the race victoriously. He is very goal oriented. He becomes overachiever most of the times. Frustration hits him when he cannot achieve what he expected the result should be.

They wanted him to know everything when asked.

He always tries his best to answer every question being thrown at him. He is very generous to provide them what they need even though they only chat him whenever they need something; whenever they wanted to clarify something regarding their homework.

They wanted him to be understanding.

He did become understanding. He knew his family cannot provide his financial needs when he choose to live in a dorm. The monthly rent and other necessary expenses. That’s why he travels everyday to his school which is almost 40km from his home. He can complain everyday about how hassle his routine is. But these rants won’t do any help. He always tries to think positively. While his blockmates are getting their nap after dismissal, he is sitting and sweating inside the jeep, stuck in traffic; inside the train fighting for his space like a Spartan; and standing in the middle of a huge sauna (bus terminal). He needs to deal with that kind of routine everyday. He doesn’t have a choice anyway.

They wanted him to be cool with everything.

He did become cool with everything. People will always have a say in anything he do. He cannot please everybody. He’s also a normal person. But no matter how hard and uncomfortable things are, he still stays calm and does not bother whatever those things are.

They wanted him to be approachable.

He did become approachable. He seems to be friendly in a way. He tries his best not to be snob. But he is the type of person who is an unseenzoner. Many say that they get hurt when people seenzone them. So he thought, why not unseenzone them? Not opening the message to avoid awkwardness and not to oblige himself to respond.

In our world, people strive to be perfect. Perfection is not the key for someone to be praised or idolized. What people need is to be good. Good in a way that we have the heart to do good things; we have the will to accept things when they turn out to be the opposite of what is expected; and we think things should fall into their right places.

He usually acts according to what others expect him to be. In a way, he find it to be helpful. But he just doesn’t want to be someone he’s not. He gets tired of pretending like everything’s okay when in fact, it’s not. He’s not okay. He’s really not.

What He is Not