I always caught myself off guard from exhaustion. I get tired so easily to things, to people, to people’s actions and words, to whatever it is. I may look motivated but I already lost myself in a battle where I was left with pure exhaustion.
It’s hard for me to digest all the negativity that surrounds me. I get easily affected once I know I was, at one point, the reason for someone’s bad decision.
At this stage in my life, I can see how uneasy it is for my future partner to tolerate me as a person. I’m the perfectionist, kinda bossy type, who wants his decisions be well equipped with a logical reason. I like my partner to know what should be the top priority without excluding those little things. It is through these little things which can be a measure of how the most unnoticeable ones can truly find their value.
I am a fan of simple clothes. Just like my taste for food, I don’t want anything fancy just for show. I’d like to know what are the ingredients and the whole process where it originated. I’m not after what you look like in a usual pambahay outfit going out. As long as we go out together looking so basic, not pretending to be clothed by what society wants to see you is fine.
Joining the workforce sure is a chaotic journey. One thing that goes into mind after at least 8 hours of work is to relax and sleep the stress away. I don’t get how other people get their energy to visit the gym or watch films until late night when I can barely move due to unwanted tiredness. And a reality check of having a responsibility in the household which needs to be established for further growth as a decent human being. I need someone who will wrap around my tired bones at night.
I also label myself as selfish since I want my attention all over me. Yeah, too much but if you’re out with someone, an update won’t hurt a little, dear. It’s as if you forgot that there’s someone worrying for your whereabouts yet you managed not to give a little hint of what has transpired for a few hours since you last messaged.
Standing on my own beliefs actually helps me not to say yes to everyone. I tend to balance those decisions where I think I’d feel better. I don’t want to rely on someone’s decision just because I don’t want to be KJ or I don’t want to go against the flow. I have my own thinking capacity and that’s enough for me to hold on to what I think will benefit me the most.
What a waste of energy it is to be restricted by unnecessary forces the universe try to give you. Finding someone who will stay by your side forever, for better or for worse, is not a walk in the park. You may found the one, but the whole process to arrive at your destination will be a whole lot messier. Just make sure that he/she is worthy of witnessing your highs and lows and overcoming everything that goes against both of you. To my future lifetime partner, let’s fight the good fight!