Filipino culture includes exceptional hospitality, famous “utang na loob” trait, and “happy at kapit lang kahit nahihirapan na” attitude.
But it doesn’t stop there. There’s this toxic thing where your relatives feel so entitled to be judgmental and spill anything they want to say.
I get it. They always want what’s best for us. However, there’s a fine line between asking you to do something what they think you should have done and taking the path you think suits you best.
What I think they don’t get is that I have my own goal and I want to attain self-fulfillment through achieving that goal. It’s easy for them to say that this field I chose can lead me to places and earn a huge amount of money in just a snap. But that’s just a walk-in-the-park scenario which they pictured through the stories they heard or the films they watched. Worse, they have no idea what reality looks and tastes like in this cruel realm when you’re an entry level and you want to quickly get out of it because the knowledge is too immense from the new environment you’re in. That it will take a lot of experience and time to reach that certain picture they have in mind.
When they lowkey drop the bomb of how I should’ve worked in the construction field to earn more than what I earn now, is it really their business? I get it that they want to maximize my fresh entry into the corporate world by earning more but did they even consider what type of work I prefer? I also get it that construction has been the go-to discipline of the commoners since it’s the most popular out of the several branches of my program but that doesn’t guarantee that it is the one I’d like to take. The design life is too underrated and people have no idea how stressful it is since every project is unique and the design itself requires extensive time, patience, on-point intellectual capacity to get it done (plus perpetual revisions if you’d like to add). My parents let me choose what I want and I hope everybody else does. Support is solely the key.
When they try to say I have been giving my family too little of what I earn, is it really also their business? I get it that some may think I’m too selfish for not giving all of my salary but have they thought of the fact that I and my sister already graduated, hence, no one in the family needs to pay for tuition fee and no daily allowance to suffice to? Which was the main cause that kept us for being too tight in the budget before. That was a huge relief for my parents since they were able to allocate the monthly budget into things which needs more consideration. So how come they waste their time on loathing me for giving too little when I also have my life where I have to pay my own bills. Yes; condo dues, utility bills, postpaid bill, transportation, daily food. Have they considered my needs?
I’m cringing for making me the antagonist in this plot they’re trying to appeal. I’m helping my family because I’m grateful for the sacrifices my parents made for me to be where I am right now. This is my way of giving back to somehow assist into what needs to be taken care of. I’m helping in the way I think I and my family will both be beneficial. I’m also trying to save for myself since I have my dreams ahead of me and I want them not to just stay as dreams but to turn them into reality. I want to pursue masters degree into my dream school, if not abroad, here in Taft. I want to travel alone, with my family and friends. I want to spoil myself though buying the things I longed for. I want to save for my future.
I learn each of every day. I’m continuously in the process of attaining maturity. I’m already grown. I know what I’m capable of. I want peace of mind. I want self-fulfillment.
FYI. It’s just them who labeled “too little” of what I contribute to my family. I firmly believe that what I give is enough.