When you are caught in between your desires is such a damn thing I hate being myself: what you want vs what you want. Seems like making an uneasy decision as to what matters more than the other. You wanted to do both but you can’t be in the same place at the same time. Of course, there’s a choice to be made. There will always be a choice if there are options waving in your eyes. However, you cannot weigh right away which path to take, what beans to spill, which reasons are more reasonable.
It’s sad to think that you got to spend your time less with the people you’ve had always been since then. The ones you shared stories and laughter while eating the food you all craved for a long time. The ones you’ve always wanted to spend your free time and even squeeze some spontaneous getaway into your tight schedule.
It’s a sacrifice I didn’t think I can actually make. A gesture I wasn’t fond of doing. A decision made that wasn’t just me.
A matter of you enjoying the company of others while I, back to my roots, lifting the spoon and fork all alone in a sea of strangers inside a famous red chain in the middle of an unfamiliar vicinity. But that’s okay. I’m okay.