Saying no is easy for some and difficult for many. It is part of our culture where a lot of us do not possess the courage to be the bigger person and simply say no. In this world of ours, we always think that to affirm is the quickest possible response to make our way out from long conversations and perhaps, awkwardness. Here comes the feeling of offending someone or being the bad guy in the picture when we choose to decline them. However, looking at a wider perspective, it is really not a bad thing to turn down someone’s request.
There are compelling reasons behind our trouble feeling in saying “No”. You may disappoint and have a first bad impression from your professor when you refuse to answer a Trigonometry problem. You may hurt your bestfriend’s feelings for rejecting her request to accompany her in the mall. You may disrespect your mother if you do not follow what she told you to do.
Battling the urge to appease a person is a tough balance act. However, we should learn how to say no for one main reason: to give ourselves more control over our lives.
To spurn the things of feeling bad in the art of saying no, here are some things to remember and might help: Learn to value your time. Take your time to consider things before dedicating yourself to a new commitment. You should take into consideration the quality of your current tasks before jumping into another. Do not stress yourself by taking all the weights of life. Engineering requires you to analyze and solve problems accurately. You should know by now that in order to achieve accuracy, you should solve one problem at a time. Solving numerous problems simultaneously will not help you lighten the weight you’re carrying. It will just contribute to your present burden instead.
Learn to build confidence in saying no. You may start by saying no as a joke. But when your friend keeps on insisting, it’s time to put your guard up and decline with conviction. You may have experienced a situation where your blocmate asks your solution in your homework for him to copy. You get that irritating feeling when he does it a couple of times and you, being simply helpful, have been being taken advantage of. You’ll start thinking that something’s wrong and you need to take a step ahead. The thing you should do is to practice saying no to them. Be the bigger person and repeat the process of declining. Eventually, these people will get the message that they should not take the easy path. Be more comfortable and don’t feel bad because in the end, they will understand that what you’re doing is what’s best for the both of you.
Learn to be a little bit selfish. In order for you to give yourself more control over your life, you need to stop being nice (always). When you make it easy for people to acquire your time by saying yes all the time, they will take advantage of your kindness and will keep on doing it. You might end up doing what everybody wants you to do and never do anything for yourself. It won’t hurt you and make you less of a person if you say no once in a while. Just know when’s the right time to say yes and no to people.
Developing a reputation of being a go-to person isn’t a bad thing at all. But always keep in mind that you can’t live life by meeting everyone’s requests.
Even the great Sherlock Holmes, portrayed by Benedict Cumberbatch in the series, knows when to turn down cases – cases which he finds boring, uninteresting and dull that would not satisfy his happiness. Thus, saying no leads you to your positive and happy place. The more affirmative emotions you express, the more you’ll be able to improve every area of your life. Saying no gives you a sense of freedom you can’t experience any other way.
Learn the art of saying no. Don’t lie. Don’t make excuses. Don’t over-explain yourself. Just simply decline.
P.S. This is my opinion entry for our publication. I’m hoping to get it published 😀